


Letters to Seungcheol

by mingyunwoo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Married Couple, Moving On, Past Character Death, What Have I Done, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-20 01:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22940866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mingyunwoo/pseuds/mingyunwoo
Summary: Since Seungcheol's death, Jeonghan has found a way to cope by writing letters to him. He doesn't know if it reaches him, but he still writes them anyway. Life takes a toll on him, and one way or another he will have to move on. So he does.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Letters to Seungcheol

**Author's Note:**

> This has been stuck on my Google docs for quite some time now, and I finally found the courage to finish them. Minimal proofreading happened with this, I just wanted to get it out there already. I will fix it tomorrow I guess. This is inspired by that one episode from How I Met Your Mother. I hope you guys like it, and leave a comment if you did. Thank you!

Dear Seungcheol,

I went out today. It’s not because I had to because of work or school. I just went out to watch a movie and eat dinner. I was all by myself imagining how it would be to actually have you there. I had a small amount of fun before I finally decided to go home and write this letter before going to sleep.

I can no longer count the number of days since I last saw you, heard you, and touched you. But I can still remember how you look, sound, and feel. I wish you’re back here with me right now. I would do everything I can to have you back here with me. I wish it’s that easy.

I won’t keep you for long because I have to go to bed. I’m tired from all the walking and keeping up a straight face to not look awkward in public. Thank you for giving me this time of day. I hope you’re fine wherever you are right now. I hope that as I write this letter it finds a way to reach you… somehow. 

Yours Lovingly, 

Jeonghan

Dear Seungcheol,

My boss was a real bitch today. I did enough amount of work I can possibly do in one day and finished early, but then he decided to add more to my plate because he said that I've been doing a great job and I can be a bit more productive to the team by helping them clear out more tasks.” I did not sign up to be everyone’s fall guy at work. I nearly dropped everything and went home but because I have to suck up a bit, I continued working until I’m done. 

Luckily, it didn’t take me long enough and I still got to go home on time. But that’s because this co-worker, Jisoo, he helped me with some of it. He just started a little over a week ago so he’s fairly new and took helping me as an opportunity to learn further. He’s a nice guy, and he’s funny. He’s the type of person you’d immediately be friends with, Seungcheol, I’m just sure of it.

Speaking of friends, I met with Jun today. He’s still asking me if I’m doing okay and looking at me with _those eyes_. That mandatory stare you give to people who just lost somebody. It’s annoying but it’s Jun. I know he means well and he’s been a solid friend since the incident. 

I have to say it doesn’t get easier, Seungcheol. I still have an empty feeling on my chest when I’m in bed lying down knowing when I turned to my side I won’t see you there. I put a pillow over your side just so it doesn’t feel hollow. I don’t want to miss you every day for the rest of my life, I promised you I will be fine and I want to. I thought I can actually do this, but being here now without you, it feels pointless. I just want you back, Seungcheol. Is that even possible?

Maybe I can find my way to you instead? Or will you hate me if I do that? That makes the two of us. I hate you, Seungcheol. I hate that I love you so much I’m feeling all these feelings after your departure. One of these days I will find my way back to you. I promise.

Yours Lovingly,

Jeonghan

Dear Seungcheol,

The coworker I’m telling you about, Jisoo. Well, he asked me out today. We have been going out for lunches and talking a lot at work recently. He’s been helping me keep myself up on my feet and I have to say he’s been patiently waiting for me to be ready. Today isn’t the first time that he asked me out, but today is the first time I said yes.

I know you won’t mind at all because that’s you, Seungcheol. I know that if you’re here, but in the current predicament you’re in, you’ll tell me to go and be happy. You’ll tell me to say yes the first time Jisoo asked. But, you’re not. And it’s unfair. I keep beating myself over missing you that I dismiss every chance I get to feel a bit happy. I know you don’t want that for me, so I’m finally trying. Supportive as I know that you are, things don’t come easy since you left me. 

I’m done being sad, but I’m not done missing you. I hope I can see you right now and just feel you again. 

I love you so much.

Yours Lovingly,

Jeonghan

Dear Seungcheol,

I keep writing these letters and I never know if it gets to you. I hope it does. I want you to know I’ve been doing well lately. I finally moved in with Jisoo. 

Jisoo is kind and understanding. He has all the traits that I loved about you, but somehow he’s quite different. It feels weird saying this, but I do really think you’d like him. He likes you, too. I keep bringing you up, but he’s okay with it. He accepts that you were the greatest person in my life, and it hurts to hear it from him, but he knows he can never live up to you. And I tell him he doesn’t have to because he’s him, and I wouldn’t like him any other way.

Tonight something big just happened. Something that completely took me off guard, and it happened over dinner with Jisoo at our apartment. He knows me well not to surprise me in public space. I just wanna go ahead and say it: he asked me to marry him. 

Right now, he’s on the other side of the door, patiently waiting since I asked him for a brief moment. He doesn’t know yet that I’m writing this letter. Or maybe he does. I know what I’m going to tell him. I know that I’m ready, but it feels like a huge disrespect to say it before I even got to talk to you. Though I’m not actually talking to you, I have to feel you. I have to know I’m ready as I write these words for you. And I think I am.

Thank you. 

Yours Lovingly,

Jeonghan

Dear Seungcheol,

It’s been a while, huh? Maybe you’re happy you finally got to enjoy more time there instead of reading these letters I send you. Still not sure if you are actually getting them and reading them, but it’s more than enough that I write them down with thoughts of you eventually getting your hands on them.

I sometimes read Jisoo the letters before I send them away. He was just sitting there while I write and then he suddenly was interested. I was surprised at first, but I thought it wasn’t such a bad idea. He even thought of writing one to you one day. Or maybe he already has. I will never know. If he already has, I hope it finds you well. 

I have to say I might not be writing to you as much as I did before. I hope that’s okay with you - and I know it will be. Jisoo has been making me very much happy. He loves me and I love him. He is kind and patient, and he understands me. He knows you well from my stories. I even brought him to your grave recently, and he laid down flowers for you. Can you imagine that? Another man laying down flowers for you. In another life, I would have flipped and beat the shit out of him, but I won’t because it’s Jisoo. You would love him, too.

Before I go I want to clear something out. You are my soulmate and my one great love, Seungcheol. You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me. You changed my life and I will never forget you. There’s nothing I can do anymore to get you back, so I moved on, which is something you wanted me to do all along. Jisoo is a whole ‘nother story. I love you then and I will continue to do so. But you’re gone, and maybe this is just me telling you that I’m fine now. 

Thank you so much, Seungcheol. 

Lovingly Yours, 

Jeonghan

Dear Seungcheol,

I’m not exactly sure how to start here, but maybe by introducing myself. Hi. I’m Hong Jisoo. Exactly three years ago from now Jeonghan and I got married. And sometime five years before that he lost you. He has told me so many wonderful things about you, Seungcheol. Many of it good, and some bad, but it doesn’t cut deep. 

I want to say thank you for loving Jeonghan when you could. What happened to you hurts me to the core, and knowing that Jeonghan has felt so much pain afterward - it doesn’t sound fair at all. You both deserved happiness at best, and Jeonghan told me you both got that just not enough. 

I know I can never live up to you and how Jeonghan loves you, and I stopped trying. I just know I’m here to love Jeonghan to the best that I can. I will do it with you in mind. So thank you. 

Jeonghan is strong and determined, and he misses you every day. I wish I could do something about it. He tries the best that he can, and I’m always there to listen when he remembers something about you or something else. He’s doing fine. I don’t know if this is something you want to hear, but he insists that you want him to move on, and he has. With me. We are doing great. I ask him sometimes to read me his letters for you, and he does, which gave me the idea to write one for you as well. I told him about it and he’s okay with it. He doesn’t know I’m writing one now, though.

I want you to know that he will be fine. I love him. I hope your soul rests well knowing that. 

Thank you once again.

Yours Sincerely,

Jisoo


End file.
